P.S. My Cat is Dead (Sorry A.S.!)

So one of my cats had a very aggressive, cancerous tumor growing on her face.  Her lower jaw, specifically, which made it very hard to biopsy and consequently treat.   Don’t worry, it was the cat that most people don’t even know I have.  The one who hides behind the couch most of her days and when she *does* show herself, it’s usually to hiss at someone or scratch their proffered hand.  That doesn’t mean that *I* didn’t think she was a cuddly kitty.  It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, though.  For a long time *I* was one of the people that she scratched and hissed at!    After much deliberation I finally decided that the poor dear would be better off being put out of her misery.  The surgery was very costly, very invasive and, after all my research, not necessarily a better alternative.  I made the appointment for this past Monday.  This was a very hard thing for me to do – until now I’d been lucky enough to come home and find my sick animals…dead.
The “procedure” went off without a hitch.  I got the cat cuddling and comfortable and purring.  She didn’t flinch a bit when the doctor gave her the syringe.  He checked her vitals and, after spending a few minutes with her in the examination room, I took her home with me to “rest” with the other critters (the neighbors are going to start calling the police if they see us head back there again with a shovel – my husband keeps assuring me that we’re not damaging our [well] water supply….I’m not sure I believe him).   I drove home with her on the front seat with the open end of the carrier facing me, I left her sitting on my front stoop while I ran next door to tell my animal-loving neighbors that the cat has moved on (and grub a cigarette), I put her on the back porch for ten minutes while I waited for my husband to gear up to dig a hole and then another 20 minutes while he dug said hole.  The whole time I could see the kitty in the carrier and I’d glance at her now and then knowing that it was the last time I’d be able to say goodbye….

I’m trying to establish a pattern here.  I spent a lotta time with kitty in between the time that the doctor checked her vitals and offered me his sympathies and the time when I jostled her body to get it out of the carrier and into her finally resting place….

Now, back track for a moment to the second and final ferret who met her demise a few months ago.  She was very, very old and was suffering from a tumor that eventually killed her.  (Do you see a pattern?  Don’t get sick around my house.)   According to my husband, ‘something’ had been digging at her grave.  So when he buried kitty he wanted to make sure that this would be her FINAL resting place, indeed.  She after I somewhat ceremoniously laid kitty in the bottom of the – well – hole, my husband laid a rather large rock on top of her in an effort to deter thieves.

I will try to tell the rest from my husband’s perspective as he retells the events to his brother – on the phone (I embellish but little – never let the truth get I the way of a good story:

George: “So you’re not going to believe this – after I put the rock on the cat, it GROWLED! …Yeah! Growled – like a cat does when you do something that they don’t like…. Yeah – like put a rock on top of them. ..No she didn’t check, but *I* looked for a few minutes and it didn’t move or make any more noises so I finished shoveling dirt on top of it…she *couldn’t* check because she was ten feet away….because when the cat growled she turned around and ran…so *I* bent down and looked but I didn’t see anything so I finished burying the cat…well, when Dawn ran away….yeah, uh huh….but when Dawn ran because she was scared….uh huh….Dawn made me lock all the doors and windows last night….well, when she ran away…I think that I noticed an eye twitch. Like a blink, maybe. Coulda been a fly…or my imagination…Well, when Dawn ran away- –
I’m only a little embarrassed to tell you that the part about locking all the windows and doors was not one of the embellishments. I worried all night about a Zombie Cat coming to exact revenge. S.M. was right – I should have sprung for the extra bucks and had her cremated! That’s what I get for being cheap. Perhaps I should have rigged her grave with a string and a bell.

2 Responses to “P.S. My Cat is Dead (Sorry A.S.!)”

  1. PearlsOfTruth Says:

    If I thought the last story was funny, I was in for a HUGE treat with this one. I have not laughed, until tears fell, for a long, long time.

    I have only stumbled upon your blog today. It is hilirious to say the least. You have a great way with words. I will be back for more funny stories… I will give you some time to post a few more ( 😉 no pressure lol)…

    I have to tell my blogging buddy here in Australia… she is very similiar to you: very funny. I know she will love this one.

  2. Dawn Says:

    Thanks for the compliment – and the traffic!

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