Archive for the ‘Bad jokes’ Category

Years of Preparation

March 5, 2012

I’ve owned cats my whole life. My bff and I always joked that cat ownership would/has prepared us for child-rearing.

See if I’m not wrong.

 

Cats like boxes.

Cats wait till you change the litter box before they use it.

Cats don’t like baths.

Cats will do almost anything for a treat…that they were going to do anyway.

Cats will automatically be drawn to the one person in the room who doesn’t like cats.

Cats are afraid of vacuums.

Cats will seek the highest place in the room to perch.

Cats will spend hours chasing a laser light.

Cats will gnaw through the side of a bag of cat food if you leave it out to taunt them.

Caterpillar Catapulter

August 23, 2008

I went trolling for monarch caterpillars today so I can bring them into my classroom and drive some lessons with my students.  I always pass this patch of milkweed and thought it to be the ‘motherload’.  There was so much of it in one place and it was fairly accessible without tromping through muck, private property and/or tick-infested grasses.  I found two.  Two.  And when I got back in the car to tell George that I had found ‘just two’ I had to tell him that, to add insult to injury, I had also lost one of them.  

How?  he asked. 

Me:    I was trying to do too much with one hand and the milkweed stalk snapped back.

>George made that sound in his throat that one makes when they are trying not to laugh<

Me:  What?!?

George:  You CATapulted a CATerpillar!  (to the baby) Hey George!  Your mom is a CAterpillar CATapulter!

And he shakes his head at MY jokes!